i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
