Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
