Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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