therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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