so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
