well you can't waste a boner
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
