i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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