Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
