fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
