i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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