drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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