Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
