I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize