its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
two words: eviction party
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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