dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Green mimosas i think yes
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I could fuck to npr.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
