do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I believe in your delicious
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
