the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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