I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.