Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?