Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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  (703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii. http://tfl.nu/5g9i
  Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (686)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  dude. I'm so drunk.

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is bryce's mom

  (214): View more from Texas

  I can't wait to have my cock in your ass

  (972): View more from Texas

  pete, this is still bryce's mom

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  (214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom http://tfl.nu/lat0
  Replies (180) Good night (37626) Bad night (5572)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.

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  (248): And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills. http://tfl.nu/4uyj
  Replies (10) Good night (3324) Bad night (1161)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

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  (386): after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time. http://tfl.nu/767v
  Replies (59) Good night (36698) Bad night (1368)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.

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  (814): if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xo3z
  Replies (20) Good night (5249) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.

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  (360): Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building. http://tfl.nu/uuvc
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (2744)
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  (631): View more from New York

  It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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  (631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq
  Replies (1) Good night (2422) Bad night (680)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

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  (623): He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking... http://tfl.nu/bdfz
  Replies (5) Good night (2906) Bad night (908)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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  (812): Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet. http://tfl.nu/ytjh
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (1856)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.

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  (647): Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine. http://tfl.nu/8bqc
  Replies (7) Good night (937) Bad night (2174)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.

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  (253): It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced. http://tfl.nu/oqhp
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.

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  (775): Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat. http://tfl.nu/8a5u
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?

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  (207): Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable? http://tfl.nu/gzc0
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (533)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now

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  (814): Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now http://tfl.nu/h43x
  Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.

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  (519): Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her. http://tfl.nu/negd
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (279)

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