Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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