we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My cat gives me a boner
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
