I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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