I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
