Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
