nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
