At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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