He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
