Duck Duck Cougar?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
