she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
