Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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