turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
