forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
