the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
