So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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