just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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