u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
