Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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