so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
