alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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