Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

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(314): Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins. http://tfl.nu/7xw4

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(518): View more from New York

As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.

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(518): As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon. http://tfl.nu/t4x8

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills

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(617): everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills http://tfl.nu/tub1

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

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(978): She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent. http://tfl.nu/hcxv

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(216): View more from Ohio

I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.

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(216): I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession. http://tfl.nu/2xsf

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(773): View more from Illinois

after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown

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(773): after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown http://tfl.nu/azzf

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(914): View more from New York

Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.

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(914): Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life. http://tfl.nu/0z43

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(815): View more from Illinois

Drink for every country you've never heard of.

(630): View more from Illinois

Fuuuuuuuuuck

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(815): Drink for every country you've never heard of. (630): Fuuuuuuuuuck http://tfl.nu/g5f9

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(540): View more from Virginia

BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.

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(540): BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am. http://tfl.nu/giyu

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(785): View more from Kansas

Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.

(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.

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(785): Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock. (785): I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice. http://tfl.nu/kw5d

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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(608): I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better" http://tfl.nu/176v

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(720): View more from Colorado

Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole

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(720): Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole http://tfl.nu/mr1r

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(760): View more from California

Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs

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(760): Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs http://tfl.nu/ndm8

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(573): View more from Missouri

I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..

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(573): I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding.. http://tfl.nu/ukti

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(406): View more from Montana

I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.

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(406): I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever. http://tfl.nu/7tpa

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