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Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
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