He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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