I'm going to jail i love you
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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