that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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