i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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