I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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