she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
