The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Two words: blizzard sex
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
