I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
