why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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