garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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