his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
