If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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