Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
