1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
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You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
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Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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