My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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