I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize