Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
