dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
