i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
