I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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