Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
