glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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