It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
