hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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