Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
