She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
