If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
