I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
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I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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