Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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