After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
