Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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